Yesterday I flew to Newark, NJ as I was to give a seminar at Rutgers. Through a conspiracy of airline ticket prices, I was compelled to take a one-stop flight. So, at 6:35 am I boarded an American Airlines flight bound for Miami, FL. Several hours later I found the plane I was on had landed in Tampa Bay, FL. The Miami airport had closed due to thunderstorms while we were in flight. We flew around the airport for 30 or 45 minutes in what as know as a ‘holding pattern’. At that time, the pilot announced that we would need to fly to Tampa for some fuel as we were running out. Once we got to Tampa, it took quite some time before we could get a fueling truck. Apparently, we were not the only plane that was running low on fuel. Once we had more fuel, we had to sit a bit longer as we were grounded, due to the Miami airport still being closed. Eventually, the weather cleared and we landed in Miami at 1:30 pm, only 3 hours behind schedule.
Fortunately, my connecting flight also suffered from substantial delays. In addition to the weather, we had some problem getting ‘security clearance’ for the plane. Something needed before passengers could board. Finally at 4 pm we were on our way. I had been feeling a little better as I had been upgraded to 1st class. So, I knew I would be fed a hot meal, beverages of my choice and have a large seat and I would be treated well.
Until I got on the plane, seat 5A and found that the gentleman in seat 5B was a crazy person with a skin condition. I generally have no prejudice against crazy people or skin problems, but this was excessive. See he believes that the world will end in 2012 because that is when the Mayan calendar ends. He also believes that the Mayan’s were aliens who arrived on space ships. His evidence is the pyramids and ‘those rock on that island’. In addition, he contends that the bible tells us that spaceships will bring us to heaven on Dec. 31, 2012. See, clouds is code word for spaceship. That’s what happened to Jesus. He was brought to heaven on a space ship.
After about 20 minutes or so, we had risen above 10,000 feet and were allowed to use ‘safe and approved electronic devices’. So, I excused myself as politely as I could stating that I was listening to Dune and was at a really interesting point. During the flight this man interrupted my book several times to show me things, including the advertisement he tore from American Way on some sort of Roswell festival and a picture of a blue fin tuna.
The thing that really made this over the top was his skin condition. He had some special lotion (very smelly) in a container that he applied to his arms and face several times during the flight. I know that dry skin can be very painful, so I felt it was no big deal until he put some on his hand and then stuck his hand down the front of his shirt and started rubbing it on his chest.
Traveling first class never felt so good. 🙂